Breastfeeding a Toddler

Ahhh, nursing a toddler.  It's so quiet and calm and sweet.  Right?

 Hmm....until they start flapping their arms around.  Then it starts getting a little dangerous.

 Oh.  Right.

Jumping on the "Mom Enough" Bandwagon

I'm sure you've seen this week's cover of Time magazine.  I thought about posting, I changed my mind, then I changed it back again.  I don't really want to give them more attention for their obvious shock value cover, but I also want to get my two cents out there.

I haven't read the article since I don't get TIME magazine and probably never will, but based solely on this cover (which is what the world sees), here's what I think.

My first reaction was that I loved the picture.  While I never nursed a child that long, and personally don't think I would, I just thought it was a great picture of a devoted mama feeding her babe.  Who cares that he's 3 years old?  Apparently TIME magazine does.

Then we get to the actual words on the cover.  "Are you mom enough?"  Some might answer with a simple, "nope!", but that shouldn't have to be their answer.  Just because someone didn't nurse their child until he was in preschool does not make her any less of a mother.   And then we get to the calling of Attachment Parenting "extreme."  I do consider myself an attachment parent to some degree.  No, I am not at the farthest end of the "attached" spectrum, but I do babywear, cloth diaper, extended breastfeed, nurse on demand, and on and on.  Direct from Dr. Sears' website is this description of "attachment parenting": Attachment parenting is a style of caring for your infant that brings out the best in the baby and the best in the parents.  Attachment parenting implies first opening your mind and heart to the individual needs of your baby, and eventually you will develop the wisdom on how to make on-the-spot decisions on what works best for both you and your baby.
Does that sound "extreme" to you?  Because it's not.  Attachment parenting does not mean "you must do this" and "you must not do that."  It's a general view of life and parenting.  It means you pay attention to your baby and cater to its needs.  Just because I had Everett on a routine at 4 months old, does that mean I wasn't subscribing to attachment parenting?  No.  I learned that he was a happier baby on a routine, so that's what we did.  It wasn't for my benefit, it was for his.  And happy baby makes for a happy mama.

I could not imagine nursing Everett still and if I was, there most likely wouldn't be a Callum.  Everett had his last nursing the morning before we found out I was pregnant with Callum.  He had slowly weaned himself down to that point (yes, he DID wean HIMSELF) and we were both ready to be done.  I felt at peace with the decision.  I think that nursing him until he was 18 months old was perfect for both of us.

I'm still nursing Callum at 14 1/2 months with no plans to stop any time soon.  As long as he's interested, I will keep going (to some degree.  I have my personal age ceiling and that's my own business.).  No one can deny the health benefits of breastfeeding so of course I'm going to try to provide it for my baby as long as I am able.

So, TIME magazine.  Cut the crap.  Don't try to pit us mamas against each other.  We have enough guilt and judgement to deal with before you stuck your giant nose into our lives.

Breastfeeding an 11 month old

Breastfeeding Callum has been such a completely opposite experience from nursing Everett.  Let's compare.

In the early newborn days:
Everett had a terrible latch, lost weight, milk didn't come in, cracked/bleeding/general ouchiness prevailed.  Had to nurse/pump/supplement for the first month or so.
Callum latched right away, nursed like a pro, never had a problem.

About 2 months - 9 months:
This was actually a pretty similar stage.  Both boys loved nursing and did so frequently.  Everett always took longer to finish a session than the piggy Callum.

9 months:
Nursing strikes for both.  Everett's lasted a couple weeks and he was just distracted.  I could usually get him to nurse anyway.  Callum was uber distracted.  There was very little sitting down and nursing at all.

10-11 months:
Everett's back to happy nursing.  He was nursing in the morning, during lunch break, after work, and before bed.
Callum.  Oh Callum.  I guess since his newborn days were so easy, he had to make it difficult later on, right?  While he will still happily nurse before bed, once during the night, and upon waking, daytime nursings are almost always a struggle.  He's just TOO busy.  He absolutely doesn't have time to be cuddled and nursed.  So I pump.  Usually twice/day I'll pump him a 3-4 oz bottle and he gleefully takes it and downs it in minutes.  I'm not going to get into an argument about whether babies ever self-wean before 12 months because he does still nurse, just not during the day.  And there are occasions that I can get him to nurse during the day.
As a result of this annoyance (who likes pumps!?!), I've come to a decision.  As of February 25, I will no longer pump any milk for Callum to have during the day.  If he chooses to breastfeed during the day, fine.  If not?  I will be giving him whole cow's milk from a local dairy.  I plan to continue breastfeeding at night and offering during the day as long as I have milk and he wants it, but I'm not going to pump anymore.  I know his body could handle cow milk now (3 weeks shy of a year), but husband and I agree that if I introduce it now, he may choose it entirely and I want the boy getting that nutritious breastmilk until he's a full 12 months old.

12-18 months:
Everett happily nursed.  He started self-weaning around 15 months when his intake of cow milk increased.  (He had really refused any large quantity of cow milk until then.)  The day I found out I was pregnant with Callum, I had forgotten to nurse Everett upon waking (his only nursing of the day by that point) and he didn't ask.  He was done.
Callum?  Who knows!  I hope he'll continue nursing until closer to 18-24 months, but if he self-weans, I'll go with it.

Nursing strike - 0, Me - 1

That's right.  I officially declare a win over the nursing strike.  Callum's gums must be feeling much better and I haven't taken his teething necklace off him in days.  I haven't been bit in days AND he's back to his regular, happy to see me nursing.  It was slightly heartbreaking to try and nurse your baby only to have him cry and push you away.  But I win.  Booyah.  This is one instance where I'm kind of grateful for my stubbornness because even I was about to give in and wean him to formula.  I was just sick of the extra stress that it was causing me.  But I'm too stubborn (and too cheap to buy formula), so I pumped three times a day for a few days there and let Callum have the bottles (which he gobbled up, little stinker) and just kept offering.  And it's as if nothing happened.  Oh, and?  Last night?  He woke up to nurse before we went to sleep and then only woke at 1 and 5!  Yay for my boy!  He didn't spend ANY of the night in our bed.  I think having the space heater in his room is helping a bit with that too.  Even with the heat on, our rooms get cold at night.  Now that Everett's big enough to snuggle himself up under the blankets, I decided our space heater would live a better life in Callum's room, so it moved.  Now we just have to get Callum sleeping all the way through the night and figure out how to rearrange rooms so the boys can share their sleeping space.

Great Day! (despite my cold...)

First, I have another cold. Boohiss about that.
But we have excellent news regarding the wonderful Ev man! Two big steps forward yesterday/last night.
First, we are done with the shield for nursing! After reading some in my breastfeeding book and twice noticing that they recommended not using a shield and if you did, to use it very short term (as in days, not weeks), I decided that we would start trying to get rid of it. I had read that it can be difficult to wean a baby off the shield, but since Everett never had problems switching between breast and bottle, I hoped for the best. Sure enough, he didn't appear to care in the slightest! And, in addition to not having to deal with putting the shield on for every feeding, our feeding time has been cut nearly in half! Using a shield can slow the milk flow, but it is amazing how much so. Instead of nursing for 15-20 minutes per side, he's now down to about 9-13 per side! Of course, this worries me at first (because it is now part of my official job description), thinking that he's not getting enough, but diapers have remained the same and he seems generally content, if not a little bit more sleepy. Which leads to our other good news....
Last night, we slept for 6 hours!!!! (I of course worried about this too...) I'm not sure if it's because we are both pretty stuffy and are trying to get over it, if it's because I took a nasal decongestant and just didn't wake up when he did (kidding!), or if it is somehow related to losing the shield, but I'll take it! Recently, he has been doing great and starting to go about 4-5 hours for our first sleep, then back to 2-3, but last night we had 6 for the first sleep and then another 3! Yay! Unfortunately, I still do not feel entirely rested because of this darn cold, but I am grateful for what extra sleep Ev let me have. We now do not wake Brian up at night because he has to work in the morning, but dang! If it's only getting up twice and one of those times is after 5-6 hours of sleep, I'll take it! Especially since feedings tend to last a maximum of 30 minutes now, throw in a diaper change, and we're done in under 45 minutes instead of the 1-1.5 hours it used to take. YAY!!!!!!!!

Not happy

Well, you got all my happiness, now you're stuck with my crying too. After having troubles with Everett latching correctly and seeing a lactation consultant to fix that, our follow-up appointment was even worse. Everett still has not gained any weight, and has in fact, managed to lose more. Despite all of his frequent nursing and adequate wet diapers, it turns out his ineffective sucking has deprived him of calories. He's down to 6lbs, 10oz. So, obviously, something has to be done. We are now on a strict schedule of every two to three hours, nursing for a half hour, pumping for 15 minutes, and then feeding him what was pumped plus the evil formula until he has been supplemented with 1oz per feeding. We also have to go in to see the pediatrician again this week (goodbye insurance!) to see if he gained anything. I opted out of using a supplemental feeding apparatus for fear it would just frustrate me every time and we're going to use the drop-in bottles we got at the baby shower. I'm hoping that Ev's poor sucking didn't do too much damage to my supply and I'll be able to supplement at least the majority with breastmilk. I have to keep myself from thinking about how my baby was starving and think instead about how it's good we caught it right now and can work with it instead of having to go to the ER or worse. Also, Brian now gets an opportunity to help feed Everett, which he looks forward to. It's going to be a rough 24 hours (at least) for me and I just need to try and not cry myself sick in the meanwhile. I know it will get better....it's just hard right now.

Doing Great!

Just a quick post to say that things are great here at the Hammond house! We went to see a lactation consultant yesterday and got to sit down with her one-on-one for an hour and a half! It was really great. We learned some new tricks, got some new tools, and breastfeeding has now become a happy instead of painful task. Everett is doing wonderfully and had two four-hour sleeping times last night! We were very happy to get more than an hour of uninterrupted sleep. Even though one of those sleeping times consisted of him lying on my chest sleeping....shhh...don't tell the doctor! :) We go back to see the lactation consultant again tomorrow to make sure things are working out.

Today we went to the pediatrician for a check-up since our little man lost so much weight in the hospital. He is now at 6 lbs, 13 oz (so small!!!), but the dr. seemed pleased. He has the very slightest tinge of jaundice, but nothing to be concerned about. He was an angel while the dr. manipulated all his limbs, just looking around the room. Now we just need to plump this boy up for our Christmas dinner! :)

And here is some proof that I am a bad listener and don't always try to sleep while he's sleeping. Oops. Guess it's time to try and catch a half-hour nap!